f*hk your way is here!!
Way back in 2018, nearly forty and newly single, I started writing a book about all the crazy things about me that made me totally un-datable. The things that I thought would make me single forever - and the realization that I might actually really like that life.
Then in 2021 I had the fallout with the Colombian, and the book became about the way I had undervalued myself (again) to be with a man that I thought would help me get to the life I wanted.
Then the last few years happened, and the book came about redefining my life on my own terms.
For most of the last decade, through many (many) iterations, I’ve been working on bringing this project to life and a couple weeks ago, it finally happened. I’m so relieved (and excited ;)) to share with all of you who have supported me and my writing for years and years. Thank you all.
I’m sharing the summary here, but if you’d rather just buy the book and read the whole thing, you can do that here.
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Fuhk Your Way Summary:
More than a decade ago, I walked away from a relationship with a man that I considered the love of my life. And I quickly realized how f*hking happy I was alone. It occurred to me that perhaps I’d been chasing the wrong happy-ever-after all along. That perhaps the happiest version of my life was one in which I didn’t have a boyfriend at all. Perhaps living a life I could love meant having a little fun with men I didn’t need to love, and committing to my friends.
What followed was almost a decade of comically messy, brief relationships with men who lied, cheated, mansplained, gaslit, dominated, and generally disappointed. It turns out that a good fuhk buddy is almost as hard to find as a good relationship.
Through it all, I discovered how much of what I believed about myself and relationships was dictated patriarchal, misogynistic, dogma-based bullshit.
I realized how much of being a woman — a mother, a daughter, a partner, a sister, a friend — is dictated bullshit.
The world tells us we’re supposed to be a million things: beautiful but not too beautiful, and we’re not supposed to let on that we know we’re beautiful. And we’re not supposed to leverage our beautiful-ness to achieve anything. But if we did achieve something it’s probably because we are beautiful. It’s certainly not because we’re intelligent or creative or collaborative.
We’re supposed to be strong but demure, confident but humble, smart - but not smarter than the boy-boss. We’re supposed to be martyrs to our titles: daughter, employee, mother, wife. We’re supposed to be “good” - meaning willing to put everyone else’s needs ahead of ours because if we prioritize ourselves… well that’s just selfish. And, of course, that’s barely the tip of the proverbial iceberg.
Nearly 40 years old and exhausted by the whole ridiculous thing, I decided to tell the world to fuhk off. So when I met a South American Adventure Guide who adored me, I uprooted my life and took a chance on being happy as a rebellious woman in a completely different place with a completely different kind of man. I thought I’d stumbled upon the cheat code for happy.
Until he cheated on me with his best friend’s daughter.
And thus, Fuhk Your Way was born.
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Fuhk Your Way is a feral, irreverent blend of memoir and social commentary, built from stories of self-abandonment and the unhinged systems that taught women to mistake compliance for love. To orient toward fulfilling roles over authenticity. Each chapter pairs lived experience with unapologetic rants that tear into patriarchy, romantic mythology, spiritual gaslighting, and the quiet agreements and abandonments we're expected to make in order to be chosen. Fuhk Your Way is an invitation to opt out-to stop asking for permission, to stop softening your edges, and to build a life, identity, and relationship on your own terms.
Please note: If the title has not already made it abundantly clear, this manuscript includes mature themes, explicit language, and frank discussions of sexuality. You’ve been warned.
Have Fuhk Your Way delivered to your door here.